When I married to my Second Love in 1992, I knew nothing about the word submission, except that in our modern day society (even within the church), it’s equivalent to a curse word. And I certainly knew nothing about what biblical submission meant, except that it was a far reaching, falsely pious way that some Christian women lived and admonished others to live. I was interested in neither. Holiness was never anything that was taught to me nor was it anything that I pursued. Though I’ve been a Christian since age four, I had little understanding and absolutely no example of what a family (let alone a wife) that’s most pleasing to the Lord looked like. All I wanted when I first got married was to be happy and to have a family life much different than what I was familiar with.
I was raised by first generation immigrant parents. We came to the United States from Busan, Korea when I was one. The five of us (my mom and dad and older sister and brother) came to America with my paternal grandmother (the matriarch of the family), and my father’s siblings and their spouses and children. We lived in a 3-bedroom, 1-bathroom townhome with my father’s youngest brother and his family of four and with my grandmother. The 10 of us lived happily together for several years until my father was able to make enough money for us to afford a townhome just for our immediate family.
I grew up in the 70s and 80s when mothers looked upon their high calling as a wife and mother as subservient to a title in a corporate office. The feminist movement was propelling and children of divorced parents were all too common. God Almighty was forgotten and the idols of the god of feminism taught women to “look out for number one” (”Staying Alive” soundtrack), that “you deserve a break today” (McDonald’s), and “because you’re worth it” (L’Oréal). Self-love at all cost reigned in the hearts of most women then…and sadly, even now.
Only after my marriage began falling apart from day one to year five, did I begin to pray fervently and search more deeply into what God desired of marriage and specifically, for me as a wife.
My Second Love was written out of my love for God and for all my sisters in Christ whom the Lord has called to biblically love, respect and submit to our husbands in everything as unto the Lord Jesus (Eph 5:22-24, 33; Col 3:18).
I pray that we as sisters, will join arms and unite our hearts to give praise, glory and honor to Jesus Christ, our Supreme and First Love so that we can raise our voices as one (Ex 24:3, Rom 15:6) and be empowered to love, respect and honor our husbands as our Second Love.
"Praise the LORD! I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation. Great are the works of the LORD, studied by all who delight in them. Full of splendor and majesty is His work, and His righteousness endures forever. He has caused His wondrous works to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and merciful."
~ Psalm 111:1-4
This book is a verse-by-verse study of biblical submission and how it pertains to the passage in Proverbs 31:10-31, which is an acrostic poem based on the Hebrew alphabet; an oracle taught to King Lemuel (meaning, "devoted to God") by his mother (Proverbs 31:1). Most scholars reason King Lemuel is King Solomon since Solomon was also called Jedidiah which means "beloved of the LORD" (2 Samuel 12:25). Therefore it is speculated that Bathsheba, King Solomon's mother, taught him this wise oracle on what kind of woman a man of God ought to seek for a wife—one of excellent character, in accordance with God’’s Word.
Every chapter in this book is based on the biblical definition of submission, how it is fulfilled by the seemingly elusive Proverbs 31 woman; and how God-fearing, Christ-loving women of our day can realize her true identity and calling as a daughter of the Most High God. This study provides insights concerning the spiritual essence of every verse, as well as offers practical ways every woman of God can apply these biblical principles to her life.
At the end of each chapter, you'll find soul-searching questions to help you grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, see yourself and your life with eternal perspective, and view others as God our Father sees them—with His infinite wisdom, love and compassion rather than with our introspectively-skewed and finite understanding. As you journey down this narrow and blessedly freeing road to biblical submission, please allow the Holy Spirit of God to prune, refine and shape you. Ask God for His discipline. Painful as it may be, we can trust it because we know God's discipline is good and loving; for His discipline leads us out of the entrapment of sin and into the freedom found only in the righteousness of Christ (Hebrews 12:7-11).
Since the Word of God alone has the power to transform hearts and renew minds, be sure to read every Scripture written or referenced, along with the entire chapter each Scripture is found in so that you may read God’s Word in the context in which He wrote it. Cultivating this habit will keep you from reading God’s Word with your emotions and preconceived notions of what you want it to mean.
This is not a feel good book, but it is full of practical applications and exhortations to do good (Heb 10:24, James 2:18, 26).
I pray that we, as daughters of the Most High God will use the influence God gave us as a tool to encourage the hearts of our families, neighborhoods, cities and perhaps even our countries toward God.
Please join me in this prayer:
But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our Potter; we are all the work of Your hand.
~ Isaiah 64:8
Warning: Before you begin this study please read Ecclesiastes 5:1-3, then pray and memorize Psalm 139:23-24 and Psalm 19:14. Next, read Luke 14:27-33 and consider carefully the cost of traveling down this road to Christ-likeness. This study requires a strong resolve to dedicate yourself to be an active and willing participant of dying to self and pursuing holiness. In essence, this study is not for the faint-hearted nor for those with whom J.I. Packer refers to as having butterfly minds, “People nowadays are not encouraged to think systematically and at length—about anything or anybody. Our culture encourages us all to have butterfly minds; flitting from one thought to another without going deep into anything” (quote from interview with Mark Jones on his latest book, Knowing Christ).